Monthly Archives:May 2016

Why English Teachers Are Important: The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes…

This is mind boggling…

 


 

Dear Thomas,

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy–will you let me be yours?

Maria

 


 

Dear Thomas,

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours,

Maria

Funny Pick Up Lines

You’re so attractive you make me come here against my will.

 

Your feet must be hurting, because you’ve been running in my mind all day long

 

The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.

 

Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?

 

Better call God, cuz I think he’s missing an angel.

 

Hey baby, wanna make a baby?

 

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

 

Excuse me. I’m from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I’m going to have to ask you to assume the position.

 

Gee, that’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

 

Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that good.

 

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!

 

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

 

Hi. I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

 

If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?

 

Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are as hot as hell.

 

If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.

 

You’ve been a bad, bad girl. Now go to my room!

 

Got two nipples for a dime?

 

Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.

 

Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you got the nicest set of buns I’ve ever saw.

 

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

 

You with those curves, and me with no brakes …

 

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

 

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

 

Screw me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don’t you?

 

Do you sleep on your stomach?
No.
Can I?

 

I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

 

Be unique and different, say yes.

 

You make me so nervous and flustered, I’ve completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.

 

Hi, my name’s {name}. Remember it, you’ll be screaming it later tonight!