Ever wonder how homeless people do throughout the day?

Ever wonder how homeless people do throughout the day?

Documentary: The Daily Life of a Bum

 

Ever wonder how homeless people do throughout the day? How do they buy food when they’re in the train station? Here’s a documentary on a typical day in the life of a bum…

 

7:00 AM         Wake up trashed on the train.

7:30 AM         Get settled in and get ready to beg for money.

7:45 AM         Set goals for the day. Today’s goal: five bucks and a pair of shoes.

8:00 AM         First bunch of people get in the train. It’s time to get to work and beg for money. Select one of the usual sob speeches: “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m a homeless person…penny, nickel, dime…anything will do.”

9:00 AM         Earn five cents.

9:15 AM         Go back to sleep.

10:00 AM       Wake up and feel like shit.

10:30 AM       Time to get to work. Use second speech. “Ladies and gentlemen, I am a homeless person, I have five kids and a pregnant wife…”

11:00 AM       Earn one dollar. Awesome, almost there.

12:00 PM        Hunger strikes. Get off train and find the next train. Eat leftover food on the subway. A French fry with fleas on it? Beggars aren’t choosers.

1:00 PM          Lunch time. Lick slime off train window.

3:00 PM          Fight with another bum for rights to the train and the mossy penny on the floor.

5:00 PM          Rush hour. Perfect time to get to work. Put on sunglasses, pretend to be blind, and sing a song.

6:00 PM          After an hour of begging, earned four bucks. Awesome.

6:10 PM          With enough money, get off at nearest station and go to the nearest deli to buy food. Get cussed out by Muslims.

6:30 PM          Sit on street and beg for money to get back on the train. Goal: 3 bucks.

Put up cardboard sign with a message like: “Lending a dime ain’t a crime.”

7:00 PM          Curse out person who dropped in a twenty dollar bill into the cup, then took it back and put in a five.

9:00 PM          Finally got enough money for a ride and a bottle of liquor. Go back to the train station in a drunken stupor.

10:00 PM        Another bumfight.

11:00 PM        Get settled in for the night and begin to fall asleep.

11:15 PM        Bitch and moan about the life he could’ve had and if it would be a difference if he stayed in school.

11:30 PM        Fall asleep. Hope for more money tomorrow.

TheEmperor